Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
