8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
