i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
