Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
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When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
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I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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