yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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