I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
