The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
