I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
