He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
