I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
