dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
