I cockslap morals
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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