You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize