eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Randomize
