so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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