Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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