I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancĂ© called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.