He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
21 Awkward Ways People Found Out Their Partner Was Into Outrageous Sex Acts
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER