When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.