her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi