don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?