the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
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based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
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Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod