Tap Here to view the Mobile Optimized TFLN
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Randomize
Follow @tfln