Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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