sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Drake has all the answers
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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