Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
