Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
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the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
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I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
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