Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
