i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
