I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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