I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
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