I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
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