I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
