I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
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I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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