yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
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