So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
