I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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