uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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