im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize
