Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
