the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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