so explain again why im purple
no
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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