And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
