I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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