If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We had sex on a dog bed..
I'm too high and old for this...
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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