He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Where did you get a picture of my penis
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Sorry about my life...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
