if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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