Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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