that's an acceptable place to lick
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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