GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
