u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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