3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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