Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
