I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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