Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
