I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
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