I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
