what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
