people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
