they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
