Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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