We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize