i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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