your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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