that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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