whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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