mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
