you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Randomize
