good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
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I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
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my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
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