Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
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