youre lurking in front of me
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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